I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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