so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
