there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
