That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.