He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
Just pee around me
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018