i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go