Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize