So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion