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• (361): View more from Texas

  Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

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• (518): View more from New York

  After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.

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• (619): View more from California

  We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"

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• (760): View more from California

  I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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• (+79): View more from

  You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Use "feeling words"

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Yay

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.

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