The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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