Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
