I didn't shave. On purpose
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
well you can't waste a boner
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?