I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
you would pick up someone in the library
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
foreskin is a definite game changer
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when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low