yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!