Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
