at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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