I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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