And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
