I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go