You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?