He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
