Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize