There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
