The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
