Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
