We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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