I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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