"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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