You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
