Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
bring money and cleavage
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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