a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
