I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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