dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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