if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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