WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
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I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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