I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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