the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The air was thick with penises
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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