then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i think i just lost a toe
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
