I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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