What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
