she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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