Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize