So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
