Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
