was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize