Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize