apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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