She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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