when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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