They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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