I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
