I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
