I wannas sexs uuuuu
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
