Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
