What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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