i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
