i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
