he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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