i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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