I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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