WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize